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Tuesday, February 23, 2010
What do you do when you're bored??
Blog lor...
I am on attachment now. Working with a company doing garment manufacturing. Well, very interesting. Everyday I look forward to learning new things and I do learn new things.
However, for the time being, we are not doing anything much. Luckily, we have internet supply here. Yesterday, there was'nt!
After I completed the task given to me, I tried keeping myself occupied with the help of facebook and eBuddy. Sadly, after sometime, it's no longer interesting lor... So mundane! The people online oso boring!
That's when I decided to blog!
hmmmm...I just want to share an important rule for families. NEVER take sides. I saw this on a distant cousin's fb profile, liked it and I have something to say about it.
I just had a personal encounter recently. Where there is an issue in the family and people from the family, who is external to the problem, intereferes AND clearly show that they are against you. It hurts lah..!
Yes yes! I know I suck. I can be the biggest bitch! I know I tend to hurt others alot too. I know people can question my awareness on the presence of other's feelings. Maybe, I deserve it.
Still, I can't help but feel so low everytime I think about it. Maybe, I love my people too much. As much as I try to pretend to not be bothered, I sigh in agony deep down everytime I think of you guys.I see so much hatred and attempts to provoke me. I see so much teamwork. Serious! Like data collectors. Keying in every single flaw of mine.
Why? Why do I appear soooo bad? What did I ever do to you guys? Yes I am very easily irritated, I am too outspoken. I tend to speak without thinking. I do see my flaws. BUT still! Why is it that the people I feel I don't have grudges with, and have not tortured, seems to have a problem with me? What is it that is soooo unforgivable? Just my opinions? Like I think your friends matter to you more than family? You think I'm wrong? Ok lah... I'm sorry.
Why must dendam me like babi lemak? I see revenge from you. Why?
I can't stop asking myself why a portion of you have issues with me when the matter does not involve you guys.
I was just unprepared, brought to face a group of my own, with enough collected data of my flaws, bashing me up verbally. OUCH! I was like, "Where the FUCK did this come from?? Where did I go wrong that caused all of you to decide to team up against me?"
Today, I choose to remain numb and not say anything about it anymore because I know if I do, it can go on forever and will never come to an end. I can do that. I can keep my mouth shut, but things can never be the same.
It is not easy to expect me to act like everything is normal after you all have said what you had to say and I have heard what I had to hear. Of course it's easy for you guys. You got the chance to vent your heart out and I only had to eat my heart out!
I hear voices in my head telling me "sudahlah...benda dah habis!" So ya la, dah habis.
3:36 PM;
left undecided.
