Well begun is half done....

What do you do when you're bored??

2010-02-23T15:36:00.004+08:00

What do you do when you're bored??
Blog lor...

I am on attachment now. Working with a company doing garment manufacturing. Well, very interesting. Everyday I look forward to learning new things and I do learn new things.

However, for the time being, we are not doing anything much. Luckily, we have internet supply here. Yesterday, there was'nt!

After I completed the task given to me, I tried keeping myself occupied with the help of facebook and eBuddy. Sadly, after sometime, it's no longer interesting lor... So mundane! The people online oso boring!

That's when I decided to blog!

hmmmm...I just want to share an important rule for families. NEVER take sides. I saw this on a distant cousin's fb profile, liked it and I have something to say about it.

I just had a personal encounter recently. Where there is an issue in the family and people from the family, who is external to the problem, intereferes AND clearly show that they are against you. It hurts lah..!

Yes yes! I know I suck. I can be the biggest bitch! I know I tend to hurt others alot too. I know people can question my awareness on the presence of other's feelings. Maybe, I deserve it.

Still, I can't help but feel so low everytime I think about it. Maybe, I love my people too much. As much as I try to pretend to not be bothered, I sigh in agony deep down everytime I think of you guys.I see so much hatred and attempts to provoke me. I see so much teamwork. Serious! Like data collectors. Keying in every single flaw of mine.

Why? Why do I appear soooo bad? What did I ever do to you guys? Yes I am very easily irritated, I am too outspoken. I tend to speak without thinking. I do see my flaws. BUT still! Why is it that the people I feel I don't have grudges with, and have not tortured, seems to have a problem with me? What is it that is soooo unforgivable? Just my opinions? Like I think your friends matter to you more than family? You think I'm wrong? Ok lah... I'm sorry.

Why must dendam me like babi lemak? I see revenge from you. Why?

I can't stop asking myself why a portion of you have issues with me when the matter does not involve you guys.

I was just unprepared, brought to face a group of my own, with enough collected data of my flaws, bashing me up verbally. OUCH! I was like, "Where the FUCK did this come from?? Where did I go wrong that caused all of you to decide to team up against me?"

Today, I choose to remain numb and not say anything about it anymore because I know if I do, it can go on forever and will never come to an end. I can do that. I can keep my mouth shut, but things can never be the same.

It is not easy to expect me to act like everything is normal after you all have said what you had to say and I have heard what I had to hear. Of course it's easy for you guys. You got the chance to vent your heart out and I only had to eat my heart out!

I hear voices in my head telling me "sudahlah...benda dah habis!" So ya la, dah habis.

time flies fast!

2009-08-17T14:21:00.005+08:00

The feeling you get when you see your brother slowly growing up. It's amazing!!

Excited for the pictures!

Done with his hair blown nicely with sunsilk serum applied! My good looking brother!!

2009-08-06T11:30:00.003+08:00

I can't wait for the upcoming wedding this november. This is the very first time we're coming up with something really sublime. Everything bit is very detailed and synchronised. I am worried and at the same time super excited for our performance.

We never had dance moves as good as this. I have never seen anyone performing like how we're going to at other weddings. REALLY! I'm serious...! Not like we can execute it 100% perfectly, but I still think it will send a delirium of joy to everyone's heart.

You know the feeling you get when you heart beats really fast and you start tapping your feet and you feel like jumping around?? I think it's like that!! HAHA!! I am so very excited!!

bagaikan bawang dihiris halus....

2009-08-04T14:44:00.002+08:00

I have been really unwell this past few days. My body really aches and I get severe headaches almost everyday.

No way. Im not seeing the doctor who prescribed me anti-depressants. Nabey!

I was telling Nurul yesterday that it felt like someone was slicing my brain finely. In malay you call it hiris. HAHA! A super sharp knife slicing your brain into slices of thin meat, roughly, the thickness of dendeng. Imagine........Grrrrrr!SAKIT la sial!

You're gaining something when you eat her muffins; they're just delicious.

2009-07-31T09:55:00.009+08:00

...generally fit in the palm of an adult hand, and are intended to be consumed by an individual in a single sitting...

I'm not gonna start with apologising for having not blogged for the longest time. It sounds so over the top, like you google whores are sooooo interested in reading it..!HAHA! I blog when I feel there is something to share and you all know your friend here has no discipline to stick to one thing religiously. NEVER!

Once, an idiot published on friendster, that I make the best muffins. Well, I think I'm best at making muffins, maybe not the best. You get it?

HAHA. My favourite recipe is the banana choc chip muffins. It's hersheys mind you. It's good! I should have memorized the recipe by heart right now. It's @ my fingertips. In fact, I tend to adjust the recipe a lil bit here and there to get the so-called "desired outcome".

This time I baked them for my sister. It's her last day of work. So they're farewell muffins(whatever!). She has NEVER helped so much like she did for this one. It turned out really good. Not sooo sweet, crispy on the outside, moist in the inside..Just nice..

You can try it out.

Ingredients:

1 cup plain flour,1 tbsp baking powder, 1 tbsp bicarbonate of soda(sieve lah!)

1 cup sugar

3-4 bananas smashed
1 egg

1 cup melted butter(do it in the microwave, it gives the best results.DON'T let the butter boil!)

Steps:

Beat the sugar and egg until the mixture becomes thick. Add in the mashed bananas. Beat urself with fork! Don't keleta use electric mixer! It will harden the muffins.

Alternately fold in the melted butter and banana mixture to the flour.

butter-banana mixture-butter-banana mixture(like that lah!)

Then you add choc chips secukup rasa.

Don't overdo the mixing.

Then can bake. 25 mins to 1/2 hr i think. Depends on your oven. At 160 deg.C. Try la.

seeking life...

2009-03-06T00:17:00.001+08:00

Sometimes, it is better to confine yourself.

Don’t bother expressing.

You naturally become mute.

Probably, that’s life.

Forget the world you live in; create a new world of your own.

Live in it happily and no one shall care.

Probably, that’s life.

Watching you disintegrate into the pressure of life, with no one to turn to, somehow
develops into a PLAY of life.

Probably, that’s life.

People’s laughter surpasses your screams and cries.

Your feelings seem trivial.

Probably, that’s life….it SUCKS!!

Anger is one letter short of danger.

2009-01-20T15:34:00.001+08:00

Tension headache?

Tension headaches are usually triggered by some type of environmental or internal stress. The most common sources of stress include family, social relationships, friends, work and school.

Episodic tension headaches are usually triggered by an isolated stressful situation or a build-up of stress. Daily stress can lead to chronic tension headaches.

It can be treated with painkillers and anti-depressants. Patients need to get treatment for depression or anxiety.

But why?? Why am I diagnosed with tension headache? Do I really think too much? Have I been thinking? What is it that is affecting me? Anti-depressants, muscle relaxers, huh?! I’m fine! Perfectly healthy!

I don’t want to go back to that phase of all those depressing moments. I don’t want to build walls around me. I am fine! I don’t want to let anger conquer me. I am perfectly stable!

Am I already thinking?? Now that’s the problem!! Unnecessary stress!! ARGH!!

You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist.

2009-01-13T15:03:00.000+08:00

Too emotional? FUCK YOU!! Real hard!!

After all those words that cut deeply into my very fucking soul, sending me shivering and shuddering tears to sleep, you can turn around and tell me I am being too emotional?? FUCK YOU ALL AGAIN!!!

I tried to keep very silent, but, sadly, no one seems to be wise enough to understand! Crying alone reminiscing over how my feelings never did seem to matter at all to any of you. The comicality of something that aches to others makes me wonder how sadistic can people who enjoy inflicting pain on others with words so cruel and curt be???

There is a marked difference between being funny and utterly insensitive! Some things done cannot be put to rest just like that. I can’t afford to give up my resentment against people just like that. I am NOT a dummy! I feel!

Ask me like that!!

2009-01-05T16:37:00.010+08:00

Ok! If a guy wants to make me his girlfriend, he must ask like this!! Under that same decorated shelter or tent or whatever you call it! Just him and me and a bottle of champagne maybe?

Any takers?? Hahaha!! Argh!! I’m going crazy just imagining it happening! So much effort, so much love, so romantic!! Argh!! I’m melting……….

Dejection

2009-01-05T12:42:00.000+08:00

I don’t know why I am feeling like this. It’s like something really heavy is pulling me down from my heart straight down to my stomach. I suddenly feel the need to scream out loud at the top of some mountain and just cry.

Heard from people that I have become a little quieter than before. Classmates would turn around and ask what’s up with the silence. Have I become reticent to the people around me? I don’t know. Probably, I just need time to heal. I am still not able to accept some truth.

I have had enough of ostentatious people in my life. Full of pretension! Nah.. I’m not buying that anymore. No more plastics God! Bless me with some purebreds! I seriously need genuine gems that are not in this world only for themselves but at least spare a little thought for others.

So much hatred! So much ill will and deep-rooted dislike. All those resentment and asperity, all those despondency and tears… ENOUGH!! All these have broken me down. This foolishness tires me. Physically and mentally exhausted I have become!

I am just looking forward to tranquility. Free from disturbance and agitation. I hope to stay calm and peaceful. I want to appreciate serenity. Maybe, it is a lot better to be motionless! No hurt and always so calm…

Gangsterism

2009-01-04T00:08:00.001+08:00

Gangsters are not men. They just don’t have the courage and capability to stand alone, in any paths of life! Earn money, self-defense, you name it, they just can’t!! That’s why they embrace gangsterism.

It just does not make any sense to me. So many of you, bashing up one man, gosh!! I just can’t absorb! The best part is they walk out of it feeling good, thinking that they are some big shots. Boys, you are not!! Had you own some balls, you would dare take it one on one, like a man!

It is so obvious that they doubt their own strength and skills. They wouldn’t want to walk out of it swollen and bleeding. Easier said, as the loser! They are not man enough and realistic to accept the reality of the world, some people are JUST better! Therefore, they need their mob, bloody lawless crowd, and start hustling and jostling, hitting, punching and kicking one helpless soul. Sadly, they heartlessly enjoy this.

“Sedap siol!! Kau dapat jamah??”

Wtf??!! Typically matrepped! What is so delicious about hurting someone so bad?? Sadist bunch of fuckers, collectively with common interest in life! Or rather, they have nothing great to look forward to in life, that they find fun in this.

Common! Get real! So many against one, obviously, you win! Had you take 30-40 girls, chances are, you would still lose if they are going to start mass-attacking you! Therefore, it does not make you any better than a loser!

I once heard from a wise man when I questioned whether he has beaten someone up before. I got a question for an answer.

Him: “Does it hurt if someone beat you?”
Me: “Of course!”
Him: “Then how can you have the heart to beat someone else??”

Now that’s more like a man! They use their brains more than their heart. The only time they get into something physically violent is probably only when they have to act in self- defense, and if every men start to be a man, then we would not even have to face all this.

So, you who need a crowd, you are no less than a coward. In the battle of life and death, you may win, however, morally and mentally, you suck!!! Gross!!

Holiday Inn,Batam

2008-12-19T17:50:00.008+08:00

Holidays are many things to many people. For me, holidays are primarily about my family getting together. It is an opportunity to strengthen family bonds. Relatives that you are either close to, or enjoy their company, join together with you to celebrate togetherness.

People who do not have large families or those who might have, but sadly, can’t afford to stay close due to their own “cibainess”, may not want to join together. I wish they will stop prattling about the fact that they know they are not the first priority when it’s about battling for love.

Pathetic! I mean, don’t try to gain sympathy by saying such things you know. It’s not going to change people’s mind and make them love you instead! If you know you are not as important, and you are probably their second choice, FUCK OFF la!! Go find some new people. Leave us alone! hehe!!

Ok..ok.. too much la aku ni..Haha! I have got better things to share.

So, about the Batam trip.

Before this trip, I’ve always been irked just by the sound of Batam. Like eeeew! It’s a place for Wak2 gatal! However, my impression changed after that!

We stayed at the Holiday Inn Resort Batam at the Waterfront City. It reflects all the romance, charm and relaxed atmosphere. It was equipped with all the facilities and services expected from an international resort. It is the place to come alive, relax, enjoy and just be yourself than you could ever imagine. There are 235 tastefully decorated and appointed suites each with an enchanting view of the swimming pool surrounded with lush tropical landscape offering an exceptional level of affordable luxury and elegance.

We all enjoyed our stay a lot! Like I said earlier, with the company of people you love, it actually does not really matter where you go. Look at the pictures below..

In the ferry otw there..

Seafood for Dinner!!

Our room!

Breakfast buffet!

My brothers splashing in the pool!

That's about all! The rest, facebook ok??!
We also had good food outside, but my bimbo sister left her D60 in the room! =(

Shakir's 3rd

2008-12-15T23:22:00.007+08:00

My darling nephew celebrates his 3rd at East Coast Chalet last Saturday. Glad to see the fruits of my hard work ripen! Ok nonsense! Haha! Errr… it’s not like I put in so much effort la, but that was good enough! I don’t give free services to anyone so easily ok?? Haha!

It was a relieve that the organized activities planned earlier were free from interruptions and went through quite a smooth progress.

We had face painting, balloon sculpting and candy floss which we opened for public much later. Cannot waste!! We paid $220 for just the candy floss! Haha! Indians are fucking cheap(Rusell Peters!).

We played some games that were mostly arranged by me, in the nick of time. Always last minute la Farhanah! The kids seemed to enjoy it though!

Actually, I’m super sleepy. There are so many things in mind just now, but my mind has gone blank. Not functioning properly!!

Below are some pictures la eh..

He is so damn adorable!!!

Candy Floss!!

Two very important people!!

Balloonist at work!!

Painting!!

(The others see on facebook la can..!)

I am going to Holiday Inn, Batam tomorrow and will blog about my trip when I come back. I’m packing my bag and will be sleeping sooooon! Miss me ok!!

What Monster am I??

2008-12-15T21:53:00.001+08:00

I am a GHOST

Elusive and plotting, I am the intellect of the monster types. I sit and hold grudges for years and plan my ultimate revenge. And when it comes, my troubled soul just wants more. I tend to be a loner, but occasionally find other wandering souls to connect with. My true passion is power and exerting the sweet nuances of power on others. I also like the occasional indie movie.

Ok! Is this true?? Haha!!

The unjustifiable question of life...

2008-12-10T12:20:00.001+08:00

My ability to write compelling and engaging content on a consistent basis over time has declined. Apparently, I don’t make a successful blogger who keep their heads around many different aspects of a medium.

However, after Hari Raya Haji, I started thinking again. Hahaha! Yes! I wasn’t thinking before that. Experiencing the entire mess, I suddenly got smacked on my face. The negative energy in my surrounding was released in a rapid motion. I had feelings that hurled in violently.

Suddenly, I was forcibly put into a condition whereby I lost my ability to accept the reality of life. Troubled again! With all those redundant thoughts and passion, hoping to change the world. I was angry at myself because I knew I would not be able to do anything to change whatever that has happened. My attempt and hope in restoring positive energy into my world would be futile.

Why can’t human beings leave things to be the way it was meant to be? Like family bonds? Family ties..? Why are we all so packed up with our own needs in life that everything else holds no value? It’s just so sad…

Why are we always made to feel like we over react? We are just unnecessary? Why? Why is it that when we are troubled with something, people can tell us that it is nothing? How can the world be made up of so many biased people?

Things are only big when it happens to you and it makes you unhappy. If it happens to others then it suddenly becomes nothing. So much unjust! I can’t take it! Enough is enough!

I NEED SOME JUSTICE!!!

2008-12-02T16:37:00.001+08:00

I attended school partially on Friday. I left after meeting 2 to have lunch at Causeway with a friend. My meal was paid for.

“Ok! It’s on me today!” Sexy treat! Hahahaha!

We both had kway teow goreng. His was with chicken, no vegetables and spicy. I requested for a fried seafood kway teow, with no vegetables, spicy and extra salty! He was overwhelmed with the bizarre aspects of my order, and suggests that I should go and make the order myself. He didn’t want to take in the strikingly erratic look from the person taking the order.

I can’t keep pace with him eating. Too fast! And…as usual, most people can’t stand the rate I’m eating at and will have to undergo a stuporous process while waiting for me to finish my meal.

After the not-so-delicious meal, we took a cab to drop him home first and then I progressed to meet Kak CT at Parkway Parade. We had a hard time planning for her son's Borthday Party! Then we went to shop for some themed party stuff.

Subsequently, as planned, my sister fetched us and we set out for Al-Majlis at Arab Street to give Tahir a super late surprise party…

Birthday Boy!!

& me..

Doing RJ!!!

That's about all.. Much fun indeed!

...simplicity of life...

2008-11-30T12:58:00.001+08:00

A friend of mine was telling me the other day that I was not blogging based on my objectives, which was to share all those abrupt rapid thoughts stored in my brain! He was grouching about how common it was to read into the humdrum of one’s present.

I agree la. Notwithstanding my real reasons to blog, I still blog about the happenings of today because I thought, if I only share about what’s in mind, it would sound like I’m preaching or giving some kind of lecture. I wouldn’t want you guys to be reading some lengthy rebukes either. Wouldn’t that be monotonous also?

However, my mind is really filled with much foreboding. Being me, this kind of things can trouble me emotionally and mentally. Disturbing!

The fact that girls nowadays get so hooked up with their boyfriends and getting so worked up with their relationship problems can upset me at times. I mean, we are all so young, going through the period where we still mingle around and meet new people.

If your boyfriend gives you faulty treatments and therefore makes him seem imperfect to you, LEAVE HIM!! That’s it! It’s mean..yes it is..and I am not even saying it is easy to do that. No it is not. It took me almost half a year. But if you have to do it, do it!

Life is selfish, people! It is too much concerned with our own welfare or interests and having little or no concern for others. Life is prompted by self-interest. Sometimes, we have to think of ourselves before others. Or else, there’ll be nothing left for us.

It takes two hands to clap to start a relationship, and it does not take the other party’s consent for one to leave. You want to leave, you leave. There is nothing anyone can do about it.

Go out there! Meet more people! Give yourself a chance! Maybe, you deserve better!

On the other hand, if you really love your boyfriend, and if it will hurt you more than you’ll hurt him if you leave, then stay. There is nothing I can do about it because maybe, I have never experienced true love.

…but…

STOP GRUMBLING!!!

…and… I am not saying I don’t like it when you come to me whining, expressing your pain. I am here to provide a shoulder for you to cry on. My ears are always open for you to let your heart out. But please!!! Don’t ask me for advice. Maybe I am really bad at it. I will only tell you to break up. Serious! So don’t ok. Don’t!

Psychopathic...

2008-11-27T16:00:00.000+08:00

I have a friend who complains and frets every day about how troubled her peace of mind is. She has always chosen this minority to love and cherish. She has never been after a whole gang or bunch of people. Just a few for her to really keep fondly in mind and treat with affection and tenderness plus to be given the same amount of love she felt she has given her loved ones is all that she needs.

She has always tried her best in dividing her time, attention and if possible, herself to all her minions, without with, will be very consequential for her.

Now, she has come to a point where she feels like a fool expecting the same love from her own people. She starts to question herself. Is she asking for something impossible? Is that too high a demand? Is she even significant to them as they are to her?

So many questions…

She was afraid if these thoughts will drive her mentally deranged. Well, I have always told this friend of mine to never wallow in self-pity. I have always told her to be genuinely sincere loving others, with no pretense and not anticipating anything back from them. Most importantly, I have always told her to be strong. Maybe, they really have got more important things or people to attend to than her. Mayhap, they feel like it is too much to ask for.

That’s just too much to expect. Yes it is… Too much..

Friends/Family vs Boyfriends

2008-11-25T14:37:00.001+08:00

Friendships are fragile things and require as much care in handling as any other fragile and precious thing. We choose our friends carefully. On the other hand, we don't choose our family. They are God's gift to us, as we are to them.

My family and friends are the most significant figures in my life. Yes! They come before my boyfriend (not like I have one now). I personally feel that boyfriends are temporary. No one knows how long our relationship will last. Friends can be temporary too. If they are genuine, and choose to stay permanent, I will always prioritise them before my boyfriend.

I don’t need people to tell me that our boyfriend deserves our prior attention because I will tell you that you are just stupid. To me, love is only chatter, family and friends are all that matter. At this point when I say this, I don’t even fear whether my friends and family members think the way I do.

My strength derives from the integrity of home. I just need to get up in the morning and look myself in the mirror and my family can look at me too and that's all that matters to me.

Friendship without self-interest is one of the rare and beautiful things of life. People whom I call best friends, close friends or at least spend a lot of my time with means a lot to me. I place them just one level below my family. It hurts me to hurt them but I just can't afford to risk something so expressively meaningful just for fun sake.

I can’t. I just can’t.

Cousin's reunion

2008-11-23T23:05:00.001+08:00

I am still very excited about my blog! I was just too busy engaged with work yesterday morning and sustaining much activity later that night. We had this cousin’s reunion pit organized by our eldest cousin, Kak Tijah. We all thought it was really about time we do something about the unnecessary conflicts that have been going on. No no! Our glory days can never be over can it?? We’re really happy people cuzzies!! Have fun and laugh a lot for laughter is the closest distance between people. Stay close, forever!

Both my sister and I reached pretty late. Everything kicked off at 3, we arrived at about 7 or 8. Our arrival was procrastinated by me because I wanted to bake. I baked some flourless cheese cupcakes. I got the recipe from my best bitch’s blog and she even came over to help me with it.

Then we cam-whored our way to Pasir Ris Park only after the rain stopped as my bimbotic sister did not want to wet her hair..hahahaha!

Then here comes the fun.. We took alot of pictures with my sister's Nikon D60, but I will only post some. I don't really fancy uploading too many pictures into blogs. I just personally feel like they are not really the proper way of looking at pictures. I don't know why. I'd rather upload them on either friendster or facebook.

The Keleta Organiser

Myself and food!

The way we want to and will be...

That's about all. If you want more, go to my facebook. I should upload the pics soon.

Why?

2008-11-21T16:35:00.000+08:00

All you future Google Whores might want to pay attention to what I’m about to reveal!!!

Is that the way to start posting entries?? I really have no idea nor do I have that discipline to blog. All you know, I might just give up and delete this blog tomorrow. Haha! Yes! Marina, you’re right!

I was questioned on my sudden urge to start blogging. Well, as everyone knows, I think too much. I got this sudden flow of thoughts gushing into my thinking cap stored as a great volume of disturbance. It has become excessive and it’s about time I emit my sudden copious outflow.

I just made it sound all bad didn’t I? It’s just me being me actually. Haha!

Alright! Actually, I wanted to have my first post dedicated to Marina on her effort in creating or designing (or whatever la!!) my blog for me. I know nuts about blogging, I told you! However, as you can see, she has self-credited herself. Haha! So, three words cukop la eh… Thank You Baby!

K let’s not be too long winded. The word count is already a 182 words. Haha! I just came across a thoughtful quote for bloggers.

“Don’t focus on having a great blog. Focus on producing a blog that’s great for your readers.” – Brian Clark

So, to all of you that has tagged even before I start blogging, I shall tell you that I think I am about 1 for 100 when it comes to successful ideas vs flops. However, since I understand that I am too interesting to resist, I shall try and blog.

…and YES!! Contradiction detected!!

the first post to every blog.

2008-11-21T13:14:00.000+08:00

okay. so hello there to first timers reading.

haha. not farhanah here but her friend.

im the creator of the blog.

which she will be updating soon enough.

anyways, its typical of farhanah to blog one day and then go lazy.

haha. (sorry huns.)

and sorry i was soooo tempted to blog in yours

cause its soooo freaking nice!!

credits to me of course.

anw, all the best people.

god bless

~~you know you want me.~~ xoxo.